I have had an AMAZING two weeks. They have been some of the hardest moments of my life, but also some of the best.
Two weeks ago today (on Tues. 9/21), my Grandma and Grandpa Bodell moved in with me. I really can not believe it has only been two weeks. It feels like two months! We have done a whole lot of living in this time. I am EXHAUSTED! (Seriously... as tired as I get when we have a new baby at home for the first few weeks.)
Grandma and Grandpa Bodell came and Dixie and I got them all unpacked and settled into their new "suite" downstairs in our house (Ed and Kriss's Irvine house). We had cousins Laura and Kevan here with us also for a week of playing and adventuring! (We Legoland, two days at Disneyland, and then they did the beach two days on their own. They wear me out!!!)I started making endless phone calls coordinating Hospice, Doctors who still do house visits, nurses, respite care, meals on wheels, hospital equipment, social workers, bath aids, etc, etc... I'll just say it was A LOT of phone calls.
To all my friends and family who have called me in the past 2 weeks, and I didn't take your call, it just meant that I was on the phone with a doctor/nurse/social worker/ or changing one of the FOUR PEOPLE IN MY HOUSE THAT WEARS DIAPERS!!!! Just imagine 4 people making poopy diapers in one 24 hour period. THAT IS A LOT OF POOP!!!!!!! (I am LOVING my rubber gloves!)
And crazy story... somehow the garbage service got discontinued for these 2 weeks. It was a mistake in billing with changing the names from my mom and dad who are now missionaries in the Congo, Africa, to our names and billing accounts. So SORRY LAURA AND KEVAN for the serious PILE OF POO DIAPERS in our backyard. It was crazy comical! We had 5 HUGE EXTRA HEFTY black garbage bags full of diapers last Monday when the garbage service was finally up and running again. Peee Yewwww!
I am trying to have this post make sense, and I hope I am not talking in circles... but there is so much I want to get out... and it always seemed like I was waiting for things to be settled before we could finalize a plan. (And seriously, I am so tired!)
On Friday and Saturday (9/24/25), Grandma's nurse was worried because Grandma's lips were dark purple and the doctor said she had to start sleeping in a hospital bed. I looked at Grandpa and he was crestfallen. He looked crushed. For those who do not know, they sleep all night holding hands. Yes, all night. Grandma searches for it if it isn't there.
My heart ached for him and I said, "Grandpa, is that okay with you?" Grandpa said, "If that's what they have to do, then that's what we have to do." I could already see the wheels turning in his head. The minute we were alone he said to me, "Do you think we could get a single bed for me and just put it right next to grandma's hospital bed?" Sure thing!!! They delivered the hospital bed two hours later (impressive!), and Bill went to our old house and got Brighton's old single bed and set it up right next to grandma's new hospital bed. It worked really well!
Grandpa went for a walk every day that week. Even when it was 107 degrees out, he still went walking at noon for a mile!
On Monday night (9/27), we had a really good family home evening. This was one of the things I was most excited about for Grandma and Grandpa to be here for. It just seems like such a wonderful blessing to be able to have Grandpa Bodell conduct your family home evenings. We had a sweet lesson by Brighton about the Army of Helaman, and then we all acted out the story. We also had Tiff and Ryan and Brooklyn here for it. That night, as Bill and I joined Grandma and Grandpa for our nightly prayers, Grandpa told the Lord he was done and they were ready to return to live with him. I have to say... I was pretty proud of our family home evening... If he thought that was the way he wanted to end it. :)
HOWEVER, it serves me right for being PRIDEFUL! At 2:30 in the morning I heard, "BILL!!! BILL!!!" I jumped out of bed and Bill and I raced downstairs. Grandpa was at the bottom of the stairs in grandma's wheelchair. Bill and I could tell immediately what had happened, because Grandpa tried to smile to re-assure us he was all right, but the left half of his face did not move. It was the weirdest thing. His left eye was all droopy, and the left side of his mouth was turned down, and he was talking really funny. He was also slumped over to the side in the chair. It was like he couldn't move his left side at all. Bill gave him a quick blessing and we jumped in the car.
I took him to Kaiser Irvine because of many reasons:
- I know from Cole's MANY hospital visits, that any hospital has to take an emergency and that insurance has to cover an emergency at any hospital until it is safe to move them.
- The Irvine Kaiser is only a couple of years old and it is really nice!
- All their rooms are private rooms, and the WORST is when you have a roommate who listens to Spanish Soap Opera's all day long!
- As my family knows, we all consider the Irvine Kaiser my summer home. I have spent MANY a night there as a patient myself in the past few years.
On Friday, Oct. 1, Grandpa was transferred from the hospital to Lake Forest Skilled Nursing Home. I am not a huge fan of this place, but I think that Kaye, the case manager, is great at her job! I will just say that cleaning fecal matter off the floor is not their top priority, even after 3 days of my telling them exactly where it is. Enough said.
This second week, Grandma Bodell was not been doing well. Not only is she "not in the room", but as grandpa Bodell puts it, "She isn't even in the neighborhood!" On Saturday morning, (10/2) Dan brought grandpa to visit grandma. She no longer recognized him. At first it was really hard on him, but then with tears rolling down his cheeks, he said, "Hey, that's not really even my sweetie, and we will be dancing together soon enough. I've alway's said I want to be with her as long as she recognizes me, but when she doesn't, we will both be ready to leave."
Grandma was not eating well, and was really getting worse throughout the week. Grandpa decided, with the help of some of his kids, that he was ready to move grandma and himself to a full time care facility, most likely until grandma passes away. (Which could still be years from now!) The idea of having to move her after she passes away scares him. He want's to be able to kiss her goodbye and let the nursing home take care of all the details.
On Sunday, Dan drove Grandma Bodell to Las Vegas, where Dixie met him and took her to Orderville for a couple of nights.
Tomorrow (Wed. 10/6), Dixie will drive Grandma from Orderville to Sandy, UT. Bill will go and check Grandpa out of the Lake Forest Nursing Home and drive him to the OC airport where Uncle Mike Bodell will be waiting to fly with him on Delta (1st class since Mike is such a frequent flyer!!!) and then Mike will take him to Sandy to be with Grandma Bodell at their new house.
Sandy Regional Care Center
Room 225
50 East 9000 South
Sandy UT 84070
A few things I have learned from Grandpa this week:
- He has PLENTY of BLACK licorice. He literally has a lifetime supply.
- He still loves apple spice baked goods.
- His prized possessions are pictures of his grand and great grand children. He shows them to every visitor he gets. PLEASE keep sending them. As your kids grow, he wants new ones. Put names on the back so he can remember who is who and who belongs to who.
He also loves to talk on the phone. Give him a call. If he doesn't answer, keep calling every minute or so. Sometimes it takes him a while to get to the phone.
As I packed Grandma and Grandpa up on Saturday night to get ready for Dan to take Grandma early Sunday morning, I kept choking on tears. I was so not ready for them to leave! Grandma and I haven't been to the theater, or gotten manicures, or eaten on the solarium this visit! There were so many things I wanted to do with my grandma before she left this final time. Oh grandma, how I love you! How I love singing with you as we do our chores. How I will miss you whenever I go to the theater. You are my joy and love sweet girl. Please know that I will always be a better person because of all you have been in my life. I cried most of Saturday and Sunday, but now I am ready for you to move on. I will miss you dreadfully, but I know it is time for you to dance again.
And grandpa... He has been really cute. He says to keep his room ready for him. That when grandma moves on, he plans to come back to party it up with us! He said he wants his options open for his return. We had lots of plans that we will put on hold for now.
We have played train game ("Ticket to Ride") these past two nights at his rest home, and he has such a zest for life and love of everyone. I am so thankful that my Brighton will have these memories to keep with him of what a truly inspiring man his grandpa Jim Bodell really was.
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| Tiff and Ryan stole Grandpa's route!!! Brooklyn takes after Grandma Bodell... she wants to eat the trains! |
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| I love these two people so much! |
Many have asked me why I wanted to take on the opportunity to care for them these next 16 months. As I have thought about it I have realized why. My childhood was amazing. Truly amazing. I was happy, well loved, protected, and only saw the good. I owe this completely to my parents, who owe it completely to Jim and Maydene Bodell. They are the reason my life was the way it was, and continues to be the way it is. I am blessed and have such greatness in my daily life. I have had VERY FEW trials in my life. I know that my Grandpa Bodell is the reason I see life the way I do.
Anyway, back to the... "Sorry I could not answer calls. I was changing diapers and talking to doctors/nurses/social workers/etc". So, call me again if you need me to return your call. My life is getting back to normal now.
And as a final note, as I write this, I feel supremely guilty... acting as though I did anything special. Dixie has done this every day for months and months! I am so thankful for her time, talents and energy!
Yes, I know. possibly the longest post ever.
Just love me.
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