Today my very best friend went away. I will not see her for a very long time.
I have missed her because she hasn't been able to talk to me for a long time, but seeing her made me happy. Now I will not be able to see her either. My favorite thing about her is how she loved to listen. I think this was one of her greatest gifts to me. I know she can still hear me and listen so I will keep talking to her.
I had a very peaceful feeling this afternoon when I heard she had left. I was excited for her adventures to come. One of my favorite memories with her is driving up the dirt road to the Brown or Whiting Reunion. She was so excited to see all her loved ones. Her excitement was contagious. The closer you got the more excited you got. Today I again was so excited for her to get to her long awaited reunion of all her loved ones! What exciting moments that must have been for all who were there!
I thought I was doing so well today and thought I was going to be OK until I went to bed and realized there was a huge empty spot missing in my life. I cried really hard for the last half hour and it has slowed down but will not stop completely. What will I do without my mommy?
She has taught me so much in my life! She is the first person to hold me and tell me she loved me. I never doubted this from the day I was born. No matter what I did she loved me. I never felt judged by her. She taught me what unconditional Christlike love is. I never heard her gossip or say bad things about others. If she talked about others it was out of concern, love and what could we do to serve that person and show them love.
She was always getting in the other persons shoes. This was annoying at some times when I wanted her to be on my side. But she taught me compassion and accountability by doing this. I learned compassion for others and to look at it from their point of view. It also taught me accountability by taking a look at what I could have done different and to learn from my not so "Choosing The Right" choices. I now do the same thing and it drives some of my loved ones crazy!
She was so smart! She always knew how to spell any word. She helped me with all my school work, especially my English. Sometimes maybe too much - she actually wrote more of my papers through school than I did. But I did learn so much from her. She always loved to learn about everything. Oh, how she would have loved the internet and all of it's knowledge. She was always reading about something from relationships, how to clean or cook or raise your children better, how to be more spiritual, how to be the perfect wife, how to budget better, how to show your teenage son you love them, how to do anything she could better. She loved the printed word. Words were magic to her. Not only did she love to read, but she loved to write and edit other peoples writing and she was good at it. I don't know how many poems she wrote - way to many to count. My favorite thing she wrote is her life history. What a wonderful gift to each of us. We can learn about her forever because of this. I know I must be better at this. She may have been forgetful in her later years but wrote everything down so we can remember.
She was a very simple basic woman. She wanted to be fancy - but was always to humble and Christlike to be showy. She had nice things but never bragged or flashed it around. I remember I always felt very blessed and grateful for everything we had.
She was an amazing wife! She adored her husband! She would do just about anything for him. Jim Bodell was her hero! I have never known any other couple to treat each other with such respect and kindness to one another. What an example and legacy to each of us in our crazy mixed up world we live in today.
She taught me to love music, to dance and sing. I was never very good at any of these but loved to do them and I still do when no one is around. She would sing for hours and hours. She always had a song going in her mind and heart. She would remember so many words to so many songs. She loves musicals and movies. She loved going to the movies and loved a bucket of popcorn! She would sing primary songs and church hymns and remembered almost all the words. Her and I would drive alot before I got my drivers license. She had narcolepsy and sleep apnea. It was hard for her to stay awake so we would sing songs to keep her awake. We would sing all the way from California to Utah and back many times!
She was so forgiving when I made all those not so good choices, which there were quite a few. I always felt like I could tell her everything and she would forgive and assist me in figuring a way to make things better. I always knew she loved her Heavenly Father. She tried to do what He wanted and lead by example in the way she lived her life daily.
She let me tease her and joke around with her. You know that look she gave, like she was mad, but you knew she could never really be mad at you. She was so fun to tease. I loved to play with her squishy cheeks and hug her and cuddle her until she begged me to get off. She had the cutest little smile and laugh. She brought joy to many around her.
She always liked to get together with loved ones. She especially loved her nieces! She loved seeing them and spending time with them. She always made me and them feel like we were her favorite! I like her and through her example adore and admire all of my nieces, every single one of them! I get so excited to see them and be by them.
I could go on and on about this woman but it is getting late and my tears of love and joy for this woman have worn me out. Goodnight Mom - I Love You!
